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Roberta J. Davis

Author of "A Joyful Life"

 

A little about me

 

 

Joy is a knowingness that at its core; life is good.  

 

 

In 2005, an unwelcome guest made her way into my life.

Her name was Illness. At first, she was subtle enough to explain away, but eventually, she would barge through the door of my life and boldly announce herself. My response to her arrival, “bring it on! I’ve got this.” After all, I was a warrior and the daughter of Lloyd Davis. He was a man who in the face of life’s challenges would remind his children, “you are a Davis and you are strong” and who lived by the adage, “the best defense is a good offense.” So, I would prepare for battle. I would seek the best medical team available and research as much information as I could get my hands on.  

 

I was confident a brain aneurysm, strokes, a PFO (hole in my heart), blood clots, allergic reactions, migraines, and seizures were not enough to bring me down. I could handle the changes in my health. I would attend frequent doctor appointments, process the abundance of medical information and misinformation, and accept the occasional emergency room visits and hospitalizations. 

 

However, unexpectedly, Illness would invite a new guest, Anxiety, an even worthier opponent. She could not be compartmentalized or integrated. She ate away at the fabric of my relationships and life. She was a monster of a guest. She woke me in the middle of the night in horror and she shook my body to the core. Anxiety had the power to take me down, to isolate me, and cause me to question all that I had known about myself. 

 

I turned to medical professionals, family members, and friends for help but they were at a loss. I could quite literally feel their frustration with me. I was exhausted and overwhelmed. My moods were swinging and my mind was racing. I was struggling to eat, and losing weight and hair in the process. I didn't like this panicked version of myself, nor did my loved ones. Admittedly, this was not my finest hour. But, I stayed the course of treatment for all things ailing me, both real and imagined and found myself forming connections with other patients in similar health circumstances. What else do you do when the majority of your time is spent waiting on medical professionals to see, stick, or scan you?

 

In the beginning, our conversations were merely polite. We would talk about the weather, our jobs, where we had gone to school, whether we had any children or grandchildren, etc., you know, “making conversation,” conversations. But gradually, we began opening up and discussing our individual lives, our health scenarios, and our feelings about it all. I looked forward to our time together. I greatly appreciated their willingness to remain open and vulnerable with me. Their stories were moving, inspiring, and came with the added benefit of quieting the voice of my pesky house guest, Anxiety. Maybe, their stories were a bit of a distraction, but there was a certain sense of comfort and peace amongst my new companions. I was grateful for them and their valuable insight. 

 

I was particularly struck by those patients who were in far worse physical shape than myself but were seemingly more relaxed, optimistic about their outcome, and living a joyful life, despite their plight. 

 

Those rare birds had a secret and I wanted in on it!

 

Throwing caution to the wind, I decided to ask my companions about their overall contentment.

 

 

I wanted to...

 

Know everything! 

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Hear all that they were willing to share with me.

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Understand how they were optimistically overcoming their obstacles.

 

Know who they had turned to for comfort. 

 

Know who had influenced them.

 

Know if anyone had helped to shape their belief system and attitude.

 

Understand where their source of joy and contentment came from.

 

Remember each person and their story!

 

My curiosity about those rare birds and many others along the way motivated me to record their stories. I have spoken with people across the spectrum; moms, dads, family members, friends, medical staff, military personnel, and their spouses, attorneys, judges, musicians, and clergy. Their cheerful mindset and enthusiastic approach to life inspired many of the positive passages and peace of mind poetry featured in “A Joyful Life.”

 

It was because of the generosity of others that I gained insight into how they...

 

 

Optimistically overcame obstacles. 

 

Possessed a great sense of peace.

 

And discovered a knowingness that at its core; life is good!

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My journey to joy

(From the introduction to "A Joyful Life)

 

"Dear God, I don’t recognize the path I am on, but I will trust it is intended for me."

 

I spoke those words as I started the ignition of my automobile. I didn’t know where they came from or what my exact thoughts were leading up to them, but there they were. Next, I placed my hands on the steering wheel, I checked my mirrors, backed out of the driveway, and started off on the eighteen-minute trip to my office. It was June 23, 2014.

 

As I began to drive, I felt compelled to take the scenic route to work. It was a Monday, a work day, and not the typical “let’s take the scenic route” kind of day. But on some level, I knew it was what I was intended to do.  I thought, maybe it would be a distraction from all that had been troubling me. I had recently separated from my husband, was living in a new community, starting out on a new professional venture, and in turmoil about how I would live life on my own with a nuisance of an illness to manage. I hoped for a sense of peace or at a minimum, an enjoyable ride.

 

Within moments, I rolled down the windows of my car, breathed in the fresh morning’s air, and felt the slight breeze blowing through my hair. I gazed upon the splendor of the tall trees, the freshly cut green grass, and the vividly blossoming flowers. It was as if I had witnessed the gift of nature for the first time. I was utterly captivated by the magnificence of it all.

 

I heard the joyful noise of the daily happenings as I passed through perfectly placed hillside homes in a lovely residential area. I noted the careful attention neighbors had taken with their lawns. I saw children playing, tossing frisbees with friends, and riding their bikes. I could hear their laughter, see their smiling faces, and I rejoiced in their sense of freedom. They were living in the moment, and so was I. 

 

Eventually, I would arrive at my destination. I walked, somewhat in disbelief, to my office building, made my way up the stairs, and finally reached my desk. I sat in my chair, for a few moments, quiet moments. Then, I began to cry. As the tears gently fell down my face, I thanked God. I thanked Him for the eighteen minutes spent behind the wheel of my car, for the eighteen minutes of beautiful clarity, and for the eighteen minutes of peace my mind had so longed to experience.

 

Each day, following my exceptional drive, I would choose to take the scenic route; not the same route but beautiful none-the-less. I loved the way in which I felt. I was no longer gripping the wheel, wishing away other drivers, or wanting to beat red lights. In fact, I had slowed down my vehicle, my body, and my mind. Contentment, appreciation, and joy replaced my once racing thoughts.

I began to truly understand the significance of what I was experiencing behind the wheel and decided to embark on a journey to apply my driving rituals to my daily life’s practices. I was convinced, I was capable-of-living the exact kind of life I chose to live. I would implement meditation, relaxation, light exercise, deep-breathing techniques, and prayer into my daily routine. I would replace negative thought patterns with positive mantras. 

I would acknowledge life’s challenges and give them the attention they deserve but found myself moving onward and upward without getting stuck in the muck. 

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I also began writing what seemed at the time, to be silly little rhythmical poems and quotes. However, they have proven to be a useful tool for keeping my thoughts congruent with who I have become. I am joyful.

 

I have learned many things on my journey to joy...

 

First, I am in the driver’s seat. How I experience life is up to me. I can choose the road I take, the thoughts I entertain, and the way in which I look at everything. What I think, believe, and convince myself of, matters. I am my attitude.

 

Every breath is an opportunity for growth. If I am open to the possibilities, embrace changes, and take the road less traveled from time-to-time, my growth will be exponential.

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I will remain grateful for my passengers and welcome new friendships along the way.

 

The journey to love is a trip. I will fall freely.

 

Each day I will choose to live in gratitude and be thankful for the journey thus far.

 

I will remember to gear-up and to engage as I age.

 

I will reflect on the beauty of simply living.

 

Finally, I will wish others well. After all, witnessing their joy increases mine.

 

I wish you joy!

 

Roberta

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